A Good Teacher is Like a Candle....

‘A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others’.
- Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, translated from Turkish

I have just returned from a trip to the US where I took part in Kami Liddle’s Expansion choreography intensive. A week of technique, pushing my personal comfort zone and being surrounded by inspirational people, culminating in a beautiful performance. I had an absolutely wonderful time with some truly incredible people and have come home feeling massively inspired to create again. 

Kami Liddle's Expansion Group

For a while I felt stuck in a rut. I even wrote several blogs about various things that I discarded because I was stuck in the creative rut. Blogs that, had I been feeling differently I probably would have published! At the end of 2014 I looked back on my year – I had a fantastic 2014. It had its ups and downs, sure, but on the whole it was pretty epic – I performed with people I never dreamed I would, Juniper Project was amazing and made me so proud. I got to collaborate with some great dancers performing my choreographies, and I felt intense pride in my work for the first time in a long time. I felt like I had finally laid a solid foundation for everything I would go on to do in the coming years and that I had built a body of work I could be proud of.

But then I started working on what would come next…. And I had nothing. I was completely empty. I tried making choreography but felt bogged down by the triumphs of 2014. I struggled to find music that inspired me and I pushed and pushed to get new ideas to emerge from my body. But I would leave the studio feeling exhausted and deflated. Like I had reached the peak of my creativity – that was it. That fleeting moment of glory in a year where I felt I had produced my best works to date… it was over and there was nothing left.

It is times like this that you feel like giving up, and that you’ll never be as good as your previous effort. Of course, this is a ridiculous notion. In 2014 I did make some good work. I also spent a lot of time teaching other people how to do what I do. I expended a LOT of effort on other people (which I am grateful and thankful for, and love more than anything), and gave a comparatively small amount of nourishment to myself. In August I went to the US and indulged myself in a month of dance, and I came home feeling even more alone in my practise and on my journey because my mentors live on the other side of the damn world. It’s little wonder I got to December and felt like my best was already spent.

So what is this blog about? Well, it’s about being a teacher and being a student. I read the quote above from Atatürk and it struck several chords. I interpret it in two ways – the teacher consumes themselves to light the way for others – they sacrifice things in their own creative work so that others may be given the opportunity to shine through their teaching. Or – they invest in themselves so deeply and passionately that they have something special to give back. I will always consider myself to be a student – craving new knowledge is part of my personality. And I am so grateful to my teachers for lighting the way for me on my dance journey. I always aim to give credit to the people that have shaped me and I love that I can be a part of their legacy living on in my own students.

Being at Kami’s intensive gave me a renewed appreciation of my teachers, especially the ones that also consider themselves to be eternal students, always striving to be better, never standing still and waiting for life to happen. It gave me a new appreciation that they are also dancers on their own path, who sometimes feel alone in their journey, who face their own physical, emotional and creative struggles and who are stronger as a result of them. I appreciated seeing vulnerability in my colleagues, knowing that I wasn’t the only one that went through these things, and feeling reassured that it didn’t matter what your level was – no one is immune from insecurities, and pressures and expectation.

It reaffirmed my belief that a great teacher is one that is also a great student. I never want to be one of those teachers whose egos get in the way of continuing their training – I am perfectly ok with my students and peers seeing me fail in class. Failing is very, very important for learning. I admit, I have been to classes where my failure has put me off going back – though usually this has been because the class was too advanced and what I really needed was to take myself to a more beginner level class (I’m thinking especially of a foray into contemporary that I took last year – I was way out of my depth!). So you see – I still learned something from that experience – I needed a class that had more time for me as a beginner in contemporary dance. Being an eternal student allows me to grow not only from a technical perspective but also from a creative standpoint. I do admire those people that are incredibly good at that one thing that they do – I also don’t really understand them, because my attitude is always for learning more and experiencing more. I feel like if I stopped going to classes, I stopped investigating and widening my perspective, I would do the same thing over and over – I would do the same dance every time, just to different music. I hope that when people see me perform, they see a diversity of experience in my approach, because I never stop studying.

So I will continue to consume myself in this amazing thing that is dance, and all the other things that I study to inform my practice (Pilates, Yoga, nutrition, anatomy…) in order to be the best teacher I can be for my students. And I am supremely grateful to my teachers for doing the same thing for me. There is a reason that I go back to the same people over and over…. 

I think it’s important to recognise your lineage as a dancer, to recognise the impacts that your teachers have had on you as an artist – your past tells you a lot about your present and your future.  I have been lucky to have a great ‘family tree’ and to continue to train with the people that inspire me. Long may that continue! I hope I never lose the passion I have for learning, in all aspects of my life. Consider this a thank you note to the teachers that have had a biggest impact on my life: Zoe Jakes, Amy Sigil, Kami Liddle, Suhaila Salimpour, Samantha Emanuel, Dawn O'Brien, Karen Price, Judy Scully, Karen Bladen, Mark Humphries.... Without you I wouldn't be who I am today.